About Me
I grew up the youngest of three kids. From birth, unbeknownst to myself, secret government agencies had taken an interest in my progress and development. At the age of 6, I was recruited by the Global Defense Agency. I left my family, thinking it would be the last time I would see them. I would miss my sister Valentine, more and more each day. We were taken to an orbital space-station. We knew it as the Battle School. "We" meaning the other little kids that had been recruited much in the same way I had been. From the moment we saw the school, steeled away in the cold of space, we were no longer 6 year olds. In fact one of us wasn't even alive anymore. What can I say? We weren't you're average kids, I was the least average... ever.
We played a lot of games at the battle school. But there was really only one game that mattered... well two actually but the other one was only for me. The game that really mattered for "everyone at battle school" was basically zero G laser-tag where your suit freezes if you get hit. I was good at this game. I almost went crazy. The other game was a total fu$%ing trip. It was all psychological archetypal metaphors and ultimately a telepathic link, but I digress. We really did play a lot of games. Birthdays were not very important, so I stopped keeping track.
After enough time to get another half as tall, but not enough to feel comfortable, I was promoted to command school early. Guess what? More games. Except there was only one game here, I played it in a flight simulator. This time I think I went crazy for sure. I started to dream about the old tripper game I used to play and the space aliens I was supposed kill. Did I mention that the battle school was a hollowed out astroid that the space aliens had used as a base. I didn't really like this place much. I stopped sleeping and started hallucinating. It turned out that I was pretty damn good at this game too. Even sleep deprived and hallucinating I kick but as a cyber jockey. Anyhow, I ended up beating the game, only to find out that it wasn't a game. I actually wiped out a whole race of Space Bugs. Total Bummer. To make it worse all the folks on earth thought I was a dick for doing it.
So me and my big sister took a space ship that had a relativistic space travel device known as the park shift. Not even the quantum space-time Mechanics could actually explain how it works, so don't ask. I just know that you calculate the speed in weeks per second. So for the last 3,000 years or so we've just been hoping from planet to planet. Sure beats getting old.
