The RCRD LBL Guide To The Grammys
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Do the Grammys actually matter? No, not really at all, but it's still fun to watch music's biggest night of spectacle (eat your heart, VMAs) and see what performances and funny collaborations go down. This year has a particularly stacked roster of nominees that include many of our favorites, so here's a handy Q&A to get you through the long televised slog.
Will Adele win every award?
I knew that's what you were wondering. Yes, it's likely. She sold more than everyone, has stronger pipes than everyone and, really, who doesn't like an underdog that's actually produced by Rick Rubin. Look for Adele to be a major presence and her six nominations to result in at least a couple awards.
But Bon Iver's "Holocene" is like the best song ever and helped me through my breakup and I don't really need him anymore and am totally over it but I don't know, it's like he was speaking to me or something?
Mr. Justin Vernon is certainly a dark horse, refusing to perform and getting a nomination for a song that's so quiet you want to grab and shake it. Bon Iver is still getting a mighty big look, though. "Song Of The Year" and "Best New Artist" nominations could turn him into an even bigger name with a simple win.
Tell me more about "Best New Artist," because I know damn well that Steely Dan will somehow win every other award this year even though they aren't nominated.
Watch it with the Steely Dan jokes. Have you heard Aja? That's a sick record, dude! Our new crop of artistic geniuses being honored will include the countrified Americana of The Band Perry, Bon Iver's hush-hush beauty, J. Cole as the stable classical rapper, Nicki Minaj as the cartoon rapper turned pop-star and the nu-metal bass explosions of Skrillex. I think we can all agree that a Minaj or Skrillex victory speech would be the most fun!
Who cares, man! What performances are happening?
We are most excited for the legitimate reunion of the iconic Beach Boys, who will celebrate their 50th anniversary by performing with Foster The People and Maroon 5. The potential torture to come from this brings my anticipation level to a boil. Who booked that? Let those boys cook on their own, Grammys!
Other performances will include Bruce Springsteen with his heavy emotions towards country and working class life, Coldplay and Foo Fighters celebrating the last gasp of mainstream rock, Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift doing the pop world proud, alt-country duo Civil Wars, Diana Krall, Maceo Parker, Joe Walsh, Adele, Paul McCartney, and… OK, we get it, everyone ever is performing.
Oh, just shut up. What are your picks?
I have no idea nor do I care who wins in this here game. Picks, though – I can choose who I think deserves the big ones.
Record Of The Year: Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Album Of The Year: Ugh, I guess Adele - 21
Song Of The Year: Kanye West - All Of The Lights
Best New Artist: Nicki Minaj
Best Dance Recording: Duck Sauce - Barbra Streisand
Best Rock Song: Radiohead - Lotus Flower
Best Alternative Album: Radiohead - The King Of Limbs
Best R&B Album: R Kelly - Love Letter (DUH)
Best Rap Song: Jay-Z & Kanye West - Otis
Best Rap Album: Jay-Z & Kanye West - Watch The Throne
Enjoy, and let us know your thoughts on Twitter or Facebook.
